Blog Entry 34 * 6-6-22
I passed through Kansas City and stopped at the temple there. They’re doing a lot of renovations, which gives the space a sense of transformation in progress—not unlike the inner work I’m experiencing myself. The temple has a strong focus on training bramacharis—monks in training—so the environment is quite structured and the rules are strictly followed. There’s a sense of discipline and dedication here that feels palpable, and I found it inspiring to witness devotion expressed through such rigor.
Today brought some interesting, merging experiences in my meditation. I found myself frustrated by various things, both big and small. I was holding onto that frustration tightly, but somehow Krishna broke through my resistance—so much so that I ended up laughing out loud, twice. The laughter wasn’t forced; it felt spontaneous, liberating, and as if the tension I’d been carrying had been dissolved in a single moment of grace. Afterward, I had to really concentrate to bring my emotions back to a more “manageable” state while trying to process everything that had just happened—and consider what, if anything, I should do about it.
It’s fascinating how subtle the guidance can be. Krishna seems to work in ways that are playful yet profound, shifting energy in the most unexpected moments. The laughter wasn’t just a release—it was also a teaching. Sometimes the mind’s grasping, the need to control or fix, is what keeps us trapped in tension. A moment of surrender, even expressed through joy or humor, can open a door to clarity and integration.
It feels like I’m gradually becoming more integrated with energy itself, less identified with the solid illusion of material form. I’m not sure how else to describe it, but that’s the closest I can get to explaining the experience. There’s a sense of fluidity, of boundaries softening between self, world, and the divine presence that underlies everything. Even when frustration arises, it no longer feels like a permanent state—it’s a wave passing through, observed and ultimately embraced.
Travel itself seems to amplify these experiences. Moving through different temples, cities, and environments creates constant opportunities for reflection, surrender, and growth. Each encounter, each challenge, and even each moment of mundane discomfort becomes a vehicle for deeper awareness. Krishna’s presence is subtle yet unmistakable, gently nudging me toward integration, devotion, and the awareness that life, in all its forms, is a teacher.